This post is all about what not to do after a breakup.
Are you thinking about your last relationship? Did it just end for you? What do you do now? Let me tell you what you shouldn’t do after a breakup and why.
I ended a relationship a few years ago and still think about all the things I wish I had done differently after it. I spent 3 months of my time thinking about my ex, talking to my ex because I was sad about it, crying about how the relationship ended and worried about how I made a mistake.
It took me 3 months to realize that what’s done is done. I made my decision and I need to move forward. Let me help you come to the same conclusion without feeling like you wasted 3 months of your life.
Disclaimer
I am not an expert or professional when it comes to relationships and the way the human mind works when one has ended. I speak from my experiences only. You, the reader, will read at your own risk and will not take any of this too seriously. All the contents of this post should be used for informational purposes only. I will not be held liable or responsible for any consequences that arise should you take my advice.
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Let’s begin.
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5 Important Things Not To Do After A Breakup
1. Don’t Second-Guess Yourself
Second-guessing yourself happens to almost everyone at some point when it comes to ending a relationship. This is especially true if you’re the one that initiated the ending.
You’ll think to yourself: Did I make a mistake? What if they were the one? What if I never find anyone ever again? These are the kinds of thoughts that will stop you from going to where you want to be. You left that relationship for a reason.
Maybe throughout the relationship, you were fighting the red flags because you didn’t want them to be true. Maybe you thought you could get past them.
Now that you’re out of the relationship, it’s time for you to accept what has happened and for you to realize that what you did was best. After all, there are so many people out there and life is so short.
You shouldn’t be worried about this one person that wasn’t able to make you as happy as you wanted in the first place. It’s really hard to change people. Trust that you made the right decision and move forward.
2. Don’t Go Back To Them
After you’ve second-guessed yourself and let it get the best of you, there are three things that could possibly happen.
- You’ll choose to get back together with them entirely because you thought you made a mistake
- You’ll choose to be friends or even friends with benefits because you want to keep them in your life without maintaining the traditional title of a relationship
- It is known that you made the right decision and remove that person from your life entirely.
Let me tell you that the first two options almost happened to me. It was very very close. But I knew deep down that I didn’t want to go back to that relationship.
We tried the friend’s thing. Almost went to friends with benefits. But even as friends, this person didn’t treat me the way I wanted. It was most likely because of the lack of communication honestly.
In the end, I cut things off entirely and we didn’t speak for about a year.
I highly suggest that you don’t go back to that person after a breakup because trying to hold on will only prolong the healing process. You won’t move on and you’ll be wasting time that you could be spending with someone that you’re actually compatible with.
Trust me. They’re out there. You just need to be patient. Leave the past in the past and move forward.
3. Don’t Watch Romance Movies/ TV Shows
As much as you crave the love and affection you used to get from your now-ended relationship, try to avoid those romance shows.
If you need a good crying, then watch the shows minimally. You don’t want to watch romance movies or shows for too long after the breakup because you’ll start to feel depressed and as if you’ve failed in life. You won’t know what you’re living for anymore.
As dramatic as it sounds, it happens.
You just lost someone that you spent most of your time with. I understand that you need something to fill the void but romance movies and shows aren’t it. You’ll just end up second-guessing your decision to break up here too.
Instead, find some new hobbies that you’ve always wanted to try but couldn’t because of your relationship or not having enough time to try them. Doing new things or going to new places is a perfect distraction.
Instead of thinking about your past relationship and how much you miss it, you’ll be too worried about getting this new experience right and not getting lost in whatever new location you went to.
Romance movies and shows seem like a good idea when you’re feeling sad and lonely at first but in the future, you’ll realize you wasted all your time crying and not appreciating the great single life.
4. Don’t Talk About It All The Time
While you’re second-guessing yourself and thinking about those romance movies and tv shows that you want to watch, you’ll be talking about your break up all the time.
You’ll talk about it to both your friends and family, but mostly your friends. You’ll ask for all of their opinions. Do they think you made the right decisions? What would they have done instead? Are you right to feel the way you do? What should you do now?
You’ll feel so lost after this breakup that you won’t have anyone else to talk to but your friends and loved ones.
However, talking about your ended relationship and the breakup won’t make anything easier on you and certainly will not make anything easier on the people around you.
Your friends and family want to be there for you but after a while, they’re going to want the regular you back. You, that isn’t dragging their feet everywhere they go and bringing up their ex every chance they get. Your friends and family want to hear about you. Not about this person that isn’t part of their lives anymore.
I’ve learned that your friends especially will start to pull away from you when they realize that all you want to talk about is your ex. Your negativity will drain them and their lives and they will want no part of you until you get your act together again.
Try to break away from bugging your friends and family about your relationship too much. After the initial discussions, move over to writing in a journal or release your emotions into some art form such as painting or music. Whatever your heart desires. But don’t bring other people into it.
5. Don’t Get Into A New Relationship So Soon After
This one may be obvious but don’t get into a new relationship too soon. You can’t love someone else if you aren’t your best self yet. After your last relationship ended, you’re going to feel empty.
You have to learn how to rely on only yourself again.
If you were to go straight into a new relationship, you risk setting irrational expectations on your new partner. There is a chance that you’ll want your new partner to treat you similar to the way your ex did or to do things for you that your ex did too.
If you’re constantly comparing your new partner with your ex, that means you haven’t fully moved on.
While you’re still trying to figure out your emotions, you have this new partner waiting for you to come to them will love and affection. This is really unfair to your new partner because all they wanted was to love you but all they get in return are you still thinking about someone else.
You want to make sure you are 100% healed, 100% over your last relationship, and 100% sure that you can live with yourself without being in a relationship. Only then you’ll be ready to share your life with another person again.
You might also like How To Be The Best Girlfriend For Your Partner
Ending Note
It is my hope that you are able to take my advice and apply it to your life. I don’t want you wasting your precious time as I did.
Even though I said I wish I could go back and do things differently so that I wasn’t wasting my time, I am still glad I did them. I say that because if it weren’t for those mistakes I made back then, I wouldn’t have known to not do them now. I made mistakes and now I can learn from them.
Learning from my mistakes also makes it easier to share my experiences with you too so that you don’t do the same things I did. (You’re welcome.)
I hope you enjoyed this post and let me know in the comments if you made the same mistakes I did, knew not to do any of these things, or tell me about any other related topic that comes to mind.
Have a great day and enjoy your life as a single person again.
This post was all about what not to do after a breakup.
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