This post is all about how to maintain lasting friendships.
Are you a victim of losing friends every year because of moving to a new school, a new house, or getting a new job?
It sucks, I know. Why aren’t all these friendships lasting?
With all the many experiences you have for making friends that come and go, do you ever wonder if there is something wrong with you? Don’t think about that because you are most likely fine and are overthinking it.
Lucky for you, I have some experience and can help you in learning who to maintain those lasting friendships.
Why trust me? Because I have maintained the same friendships for 7+ years now.
Of course, I made new friends along the way but the point I am trying to make is that I have some minimal knowledge of how to have lasting friendships.
This post is all about how to maintain lasting friendships.
Disclaimer
I am not an expert in maintaining friendships. I can only share my experiences. I cannot guarantee that all your friendships can be maintained no matter how hard you try because friendship is a two-person effort. This post is for informational purposes only and should not be used to make decisions on how you approach friendships. Because these tips are based on my personal experiences, you may not be able to maintain lasting friendships the same way I do.
–
Let’s begin.
–
How To Maintain Lasting Friendships
1. Talk To Your Friends Often
The first way of maintaining lasting friendships is to talk to them often. You can give them a quick text, have a short phone call with them, or have any kind of small talk. Talking to them often lets them know that you are still there for them.
Whenever something reminds you of them, give them a quick text letting them know that they’re on your mind. They will feel special knowing that you still like them the same.
You don’t have to talk to your friends every single day. But if you do, that’s great!
Talking to your friends often is important because the idea of “out of sight, out of mind” is very true. You don’t want your friends to forget about you.
If you wait too long, the next time you try to talk to them will feel a little stale and empty because they haven’t heard from you in a while. Your message may be random to them.
There are exceptions to this situation though. Luckily, the friendships that I am in were developed with a strong foundation. This means I am able to go weeks without speaking to my friends. Whenever we do speak again, it’s like we never left each other. But this strong foundation I talk about is because we both made the effort to talk to each other in the beginning.
If you can, set aside time to talk to your friends. They’ll appreciate you more for it.
You may also like The Best And Important Signs of True Friends
2. Never Miss Wishing Your Friends A Happy Birthday
I don’t know how important birthdays are for you but they are very important to me. I believe that everyone deserves to celebrate their birthday as big or small as they want. (Have you seen my 21st Birthday post?)
It is also important that you remember your friends’ birthdays. If you think your birthdays are special, they most likely think the same way about theirs too. You can text them as soon as they wake up wishing them a happy birthday or call them to tell them with your voice.
If you can, go the extra step and give them a gift. If you’re far away, snail mail is still a thing! Obviously, you don’t have to give your friends a gift on their birthday, but at least let them know that you didn’t forget.
I’ve noticed that whenever some of my friends forget my birthday, I feel forgotten and assume that the friendship is falling out.
Although some of them made up for it by telling me happy birthday the next day and admitting that they had completely forgotten. (I’ve done it too, don’t worry.) At that point, I forget that they forgot because they acknowledged that they knew when my birthday was and just made a little human mistake.
Wish all your friends a happy birthday. It is more important than you think.
3. Build Trust By Opening Up To Your Friends
Opening up to your friends is definitely a hard thing to do at first but it is so important to maintain friendships.
When you open up to your friends, you are showing them that you trust them with your vulnerability. Your friends will also get the deeper side of you and decide whether they are willing to keep you in their life.
As shallow as it sounds to judge based on deeper personalities, it’s true.
I believe that my longest friendships were because I was open to them and I made sure that they knew it was okay for them to be open with me too.
You need to build trust from the very beginning. Once you give them one reason to not trust you, you’ll never get their full trust. That one time you did something that they didn’t like would be sitting in the back of their mind forever.
I have some long-lasting friends that went against some of my strongest wishes too and I still think about it often. But because we have so many other good memories, I am willing to look past that one bad event.
You also want to be careful about who you open up to. First, you should assess what kind of person they are on the surface.
You also need to open up to them in small increments at a time. Don’t give them your whole life story in the beginning because if they aren’t in it and leave you hanging, you just wasted a lot of energy.
Other than that, opening up to your friends shows that you are comfortable and want them to stick around. Your friends will feel special knowing that you chose them to be the person you share more information about your life with.
4. Plan To Meet Up With Your Friends At Least Once A Month
Seeing your friends is very important to maintaining lasting friendships. Humans are social creatures and we crave the presence of the people we like.
Make it a habit to see your friends as often as you can. You can plan a meal out for just an hour or you can spend an entire day together.
Whatever you decide, just know that you are actively making your friendship a little stronger than it was before. You can also spend this time catching each other up on what has been going on in your lives.
My personal catch-up friend dates are going out for meal dates. It can be breakfast, lunch, or dinner. I love sharing meals with the people I cherish the most.
Planning to meet up with your friends often might be difficult if you’re doing a long-distance friendship but definitely still try to make virtual plans with each other.
All my boyfriend’s friends are 6+ hours away from us so he plays video games with them almost every night. I have listened to them play games all the time and you wouldn’t be able to tell that they only see each other once or twice a year. (A year!)
Funny enough, my boyfriend hasn’t even met one of them as I write this but you would’ve never guessed because they have been gaming with each other over voice calls for 2+ years now.
I wasn’t kidding when I said talking to your friends and hanging out with them is important. That’s the only way you’re gonna be able to keep these lasting friendships. Actively having constant contact.
5. Celebrate Your Friends For Everything They Do
You absolutely must celebrate your friends in all of their accomplishments.
You need to be their number one fan and support them in everything that they do.
Push them to go out of their comfort zone and follow their dreams. Be there for them when they graduate. Celebrate them when they get into their dream school, dream job, whatever it is they were working towards.
No matter how big or small the accomplishment, you need to constantly remind them that you are proud of them.
There may be times where they get something that wasn’t exactly earned but there isn’t anything you can do about it so you might as well be happy that they got it in general.
Celebrate your friends for everything they do. If they sense that you aren’t supportive or won’t help them thrive in their lifestyles, they will leave you. Trust me.
So, be their happy light and celebrate them.
6. Think About How Your Friends Feel
If you didn’t notice, almost every point I make mentions how your friends feel.
The ultimate tip I have overall is to maintain a long-lasting friendship is to always think about how your friend feels.
I definitely don’t mean to be a doormat to them. Instead, treat them the way you would want to be treated.
Remember how I said friendship is a two-person job? You need to do your part.
If they do the same for you, then you have a keeper for a lasting friendship. If they do not do the same for you, then they aren’t worthy enough to be in a lasting friendship with you.
Ending Note
That’s all I have for how to have lasting friendships. The most important thing that you need to remember is that you don’t need to have lasting friendships with everyone.
Some of them will be better as temporary friendships for that moment. Don’t drag it on if it doesn’t need to be. You might risk leaving the friendship on a bad note.
I hope you find this information helpful and that you are able to maintain the friendships that you find are worthwhile. Do you have any other tips that I may have missed? Let me know what you think in the comments below. Have a good day!
This post is all about how to maintain lasting friendships.
Leave a Reply